When Smokey the Bear and his compadre Trav set off on the equivalent of a buddy cop road trip at the tail end of last summer, they were hopeful about what they’d find in two very different fisheries – Thrift and Vanderkloof dams. In his inimitable style, Smokey tells the tale of what went down in part two of their fly fishing journey.

VANDERKLOOF DAM

While getting to either Thrift or Vanderkloof from most of the major population centres of South Africa is usually a lengthy hack of a drive, driving from Thrift in the Eastern Cape to Vanderkloof in the Northern Cape is surprisingly short, just over five hours. Neither of us had been to Vanderkloof before so getting our first glimpse of it as we rounded the last corner near the dam wall was lank impressive. It’s a massive expanse of water with bushveld down to water’s edge with plenty of kiff looking bays and rocky edges. Ideal largie water.

We checked into our spot where we’d be staying for the next few nights and headed into town to resupply and get a lay of the land. Again, for those of you who’ve never been to Vanderkloof it’s like a time warp. A small town filled with 70s style houses and the odd larnie Joburger’s holiday house. The locals were friendly, but wary of us especially considering Trav is covered in tattoos and I’m about as subtle as a brick thrown through a window. The first drive to the shop with us acting like teenagers – tunes pumping, windows down and smoke billowing out – had a police car turn and follow us down the main road to make sure we weren’t up to kak.

Kyle Ovens from Fly Revolution was already at Vanderkloof as he was hosting a couple of okes on a three-day trip. They were being guided by Eddie Rall, aka ‘The Mullet’ on account of his magnificent hairdo. I’d had been chatting to Kyle, getting daily updates and the fishing had been pretty good with Eddie’s clients landing a few good fish and Kyle catching a solid largie too.

Eddie had kindly agreed to guide Trav and me for the three days we had there. He knows Vanderkloof really well and had given us amazingly detailed pre-trip info so we were well prepared with 7 and 8-weight rods, one with an intermediate line and the other a floater. Flies were as you’d expect – the usual largie patterns but with a few Vanderkloof-specific variations that Eddie advised us on. Further upriver the rains had been extremely heavy, so the dam had been filling up fast, a two to three metre rise every day, which isn’t ideal for largie fishing. Eddie tuned us that most of his regular spots would be under water in the next day or two. “Fuck, here we go again with the tough conditions,” I thought to myself. 

SHOP THE MISSION

That night we went for a chow and a couple of beers at the local watering hole. It’s a ‘choose-your-meat-from-the-counter-and-they-braai-it’ kind of place that also dishes up “2 for R70′ double brandy specials. Add in some proper short shorts regulars, most with a side arm sticking out from under their two-tone shirt, and you get the idea. Trav and I rolled in there and like out of a Western, the music stopped and okes flat out eyeballed us. I distinctly remember one oke saying to his buddy as I walked past, “Fok, dis a groot soutiedaai een,” (Golly, that’s a large South African of British descent, that one). However, a few dops and some steaks later and we were fitting in like locals.

Next morning we met Eddie at sunrise on the jetty, with Kyle joining us for the first day too. The weather was epic and we were amped. Vanderkloof is so vast and everything looks the same. Without a proper guide who knows where to go, you would end up cruising around like Bobby McPuzzleface with no plan. Eddie took us to the first spot, we fished a bit from the boat and then got out and walked the rocky edge. There was dead tree lying in the water which looked like it should hold a fish. Eddie tuned us that we must slap the water with the fly to get the largies amped. I dutifully slapped the fly down a couple times then on the third cast let it sit for a moment. Two strips and I was on! That first second you can’t work out how big the fish is, but in your head you’re targeting largies so as I went vas I was like, “I’m onto to a largie!” and set hard. The tiny smallie on the other end of the line must have got the fright of its life as I yanked it clean out of the water. A half-pound smallie to open the account, mombak off! We fished super hard for the rest of the day with Trav and Kyle each getting a smallie or two. The water was rising fast and I could check that Eddie was getting a bit twitchy as his usual spots weren’t working. The wind started pumping that afternoon and we had to run far in pretty much ocean-size swell to get back to the jetty. Eddie had a kiff boat that handled the chop well but after an hour and half of being smashed, our legs were like jelly. Finally back on land, I went to check a stick marker I’d placed on the water’s edge that morning. It was now a couple metres under and the water was still rising fast!

That night the same story. A couple of beers at the house then off to the local tavern for a chow with Eddie and a few more dops. The locals knew us a bit better now and we got the odd nod of the head as we arrived and even a smile from the waiter. 

Day 2, we ran seriously far, at least two hours into the middle of nowhere. We fished first from the boat at a few spots with no joy and then pulled into a kiff looking bay and got out to walk the edge. It looked very deep off the side but Eddie said he knew there were a few clusters of rocks around ten metres out off one of the points. I was walking in front alone while Trav was around 50 metres back cruising with Eddie. I went out on to the point and slapped the water a bit. On the third or fourth cast I went tight. This wasn’t a smallie, but it definitely wasn’t a giant fish. It gave a good fight and a few minutes later I landed my first largie of the trip. I was lank stoked. At least I’d landed the target species, even if it wasn’t a giant. I thought to myself that if the water rises anymore and the fishing turns off completely, at least I could head home moderately happy. Trav came to join me and we walked around the next bay to another small point where a few small boulders stuck out and you could see this lekker drop off running parallel to the edge. It looked very good. I tuned Trav, “You cast first here bru it looks lank fishy.” He moved ahead and slapped the water a few times, then threw a long cast out over where he’d been slapping and let the fly sink a little.

The words, “Bru, you’re gonna go tight” had barely left my mouth when he was on. I was whooping and high fiving Eddie while Trav, as he does, was silent and focused on not fucking it up. A couple minutes later and Trav had landed his first ever largie. We were all super stoked. High fives all round! Trav released the fish and while literally standing in the same spot, stripped out a little line and threw a short cast along the edge. While tuning me how kiff the fish he had just landed was, he immediately went tight again! This fished was pulling hard and definitely bigger than the first one. Same again high fives and whooping from me and silence from Trav as he landed another beaut of largie. My turn bru. I shoved Trav aside and slapped the water and threw casts over the same spot for an hour. Not a touch. Fok. We fished very hard for the rest of the day without a touch. 

Continue reading Smokey’s account of their cross-country fishing trip in issue 54 of The Mission below. It’s free!

SPEAK SMOKEY

Before you read the rest of the article, you should associate yourself with an incomplete glossary of the (mostly Afrikaans) Seffrican words used by our giant soutie friend.

Bru - brother, bro
Braai - South Africa's superior answer to BBQ
Dops - drinks
Dos - sleep
Fok - fuck
Gees - spirit/vibe
Howzit - how is it?/how are you?
Jol - party
Jolling - partying
Kak - shit
Kiff - cool/awesome
Kuier - visit
Lank - very/lots
Largie – largemouth yellowfish
Larnie - fancy/rich person
Mombak - to break your duck/get the monkey off your back. Aka, catch your first fish of a trip or session.
Môre - morning... when there's nothing good about it.
Okes - guy/blokes
Smallie - smallmouth yellowfish 
Soutie - South African of British descent
Tweeklap - twice-hit/double-punch
Vas - tight